Funny Facebook Status

For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember.. that’s where the knives are kept.

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Is On The Toilet (>_<) (o_o) (0_0) ~ (^_^) Ahhhhhhhh That`s Better.

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I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

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I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights.

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I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.

If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old.

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If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids, why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?

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That awkward moment when someone *Likes* One of your Very old Facebook statuses and you think “Creeper”.

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That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.

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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police

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Wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.

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Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.

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If money grew ls would be dating monkeys!

I am not born to please people, So if you want to get pleased try me in next life…good luck!

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Mom always said not to write on walls…but apparently on Facebook you can.

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Udaas😔 Rehne Ki Wajah To Bahut Hai Life Me…!!
Par Fokat Me Khush Rehne Ka Maza Hi Kuch
Aur Hai…!! grin emoticon
Try Ittt… Keep Smiling ‪#‎Hayyeeeians‬

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I’m that kind of a person who knows the right path
but still follows the wrong one every time.

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If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.