Funny Life Quotes

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I’ve met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you’re 20 minutes.
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“An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it.”

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“The only time I don’t have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.”
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“When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. . . don’t complain about the mud!”
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“Make allowances for your friends’ imperfections as readily as you do for your own.”

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H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life’s Little Instruction Book Volume II
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Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
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“A mother is the best friend God ever gave.”

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(Funny Life Quotes)

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“To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant in the field of battle, rather than a spectator.”

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“Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address.”

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“He has a heart of gold – only harder.”

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For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild.

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The successful know that the road to success is always under construction; they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth.

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“There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.”

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“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.”

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“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.”

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(Funny Life Quotes)

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“You’ll be richer in the end than a prince, if you’re a friend.

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“So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected, let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!”

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“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

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“A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.”

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“If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.”

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A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

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Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

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 In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.

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(Funny Life Quotes)

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God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

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I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you’ll need me to complete your picture.

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When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.

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Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

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I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I’d just love to punch right in the face!

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        (Funny Life Quotes)

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As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

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A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.

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It’s always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.

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What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea.

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An unwatched pot boils immediately.

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If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark.
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Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

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