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I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
We all have a shirt that we like wearing too much.
That little dance your thumbs do when you don’t know.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched?
When someone asks you, “What’s your f-ing problem?
That awkward moment when someone isn’t txting you.
That awkward moment when you’re way more excited than
The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake-
Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as
I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear
The wise man sees but does not speak. The fool sees
Funny Status For Facebook
Never go at the first call of “Come, dinner is ready” It is a trap for you to prepare the table.
I’m that kind of a person who knows the right path ,but still follows the wrong one every time.
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
We are the generation which hates morning, bored of afternoon, tired in the evening and depresse at night.
Some people have relationships , and some have a peaceful life.
Every husband gets a wireless net connection, by default..
It is called ”WifeEye”
That half-hearted struggle to stop your relatives from giving you money.
“No no, really no, I won’t take it, please no…okay thanks”
I don’t like people driving fast, that’s the reason I overtake them
Funny Status For Facebook
I really need to clean the house, but I’m thinking it’d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch…
If I had a British accent, I’d never shut up.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
The first rule of “Condescending Club” is really kinda complex and I don’t think you’d understand it even if I explained it to you.
I was at a funeral today and I asked the priest for the WiFi password. “Have some respect for the dead!” he said. “Okay,” I replied. “Is that all lower case without spaces?”
I mistook the Facebook status box for Google search, and now I don’t have to go family functions anymore.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan’s chariot.
Funny Status For Facebook
Meeting your friend’s bf/gf for the first time is like..
“Hello, I am the Co-Author of all the text messages you receive.”
1 Mahine Vodafone use karne ke baad pata chala ki unke Ads me jo kutta dikhate hai wo hum hai..
I don’t like people driving fast, that’s the reason I overtake them
That half-hearted struggle to stop your relatives from giving you money.
“No no, really no, I won’t take it, please no…okay thanks”
Every husband gets a wireless net connection, by default..
It is called ”WifeEye”
Some people have relationships
and some have a peaceful life.
Funny Status For Facebook
I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights.
I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Looking at people’s mutual friends and saying “OMG HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM”
LIKE if you have that one friend that Laughs at everything. Even when it’s not funny.
“Was that lightning?!” “No, they’re taking pictures for Google earth…”
Telling someone that you’re going to bed, When you’re actually not, and then having to hold back from posting things on Facebook.
If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old.
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids, why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
Funny Status For Facebook
That awkward moment when someone *Likes* One of your Very old Facebook statuses and you think “Creeper”.
The best feature of the iPhone is the feature that keeps you from getting pushed in the pool
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I hate it when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the words wrong
when a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.:D
AATCHOO! …….?(-??~•~)?……. If you`re allergic to bullshit, drama, liars, and 2-faced people, LIKE to keep this sneeze going.
My grandma has always told me that if you have nothing good to say then don’t say anything at all, yet people still wonder why I am so quiet (:
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
