Funny Status For Whatsaap

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We have a best collection of most  funny whatsapp status 

Funny Status in English

I’m not sarcastic, I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.


Love is like fart. If you force it, It’s probably shit.


In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.


A relationship is made for two, but some bitches are bad in math.


LET’S F_UCK – All I need is U.’


You can love me, hate me or masturbate screaming my name, it’s the thought that count.


Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.


Zombies are looking for brain, don’t worry you’re safe.


May god bless you, sick and shameful life.


Some people are beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.


My ex had one very annoying habit – BREATHING


Dear men, life without women would literally a pain in ass.


People have become very naughty on whatsapp.. Even married women have put their status as AVAILABLE.


I am not lazy! I am just at my energy saving mode.


I will marry to a girl who look pretty in her voter id card.


शेर खुद अपनी ताकत से राजा केहलाता है; जंगल मे चुनाव नही होते.. ।।


Just finished blocking some numbers on whatsapp, if you can read this then you got lucky.


हथियार तो सिर्फ सोंख के लिए रखा करते हे ,खौफ के लिए तो बस नाम ही काफी हे,


Whatsapp users never die, they just go offline.


I told cashier- I want to open a joint account with anyone who have lots of money.


Changed my iPhone name to titanic it’s syncing now.


Cigarette chhodna sabse asan hai- main hazaro baar chhod chukka hun!


When your girlfriend picks a restaurant that is very costly, you just say “Oh yeah, that’s where the really cute girl works”.


A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Problem with this generation is we first search for a Lover & then fall in Love.


Hello madam, do you want Credit Card? Girl: No thanks, I have a Boyfriend.


Graduation – The process changing one’s status from “Student” to “Unemployed”.


I just need a good Wifi and Wife.


A Good Date ends with Dinner. An Awesome Date ends with Breakfast,


Sometimes if your best friend is in love with someone, start finding love. Or a new best friend.


I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card,


A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”


Someone on his status “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead.


Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror 😛


God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me 😛


My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.


People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 😉


I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.


Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.


You Don’t Know Something? Google It. You Don’t Know Someone? Facebook It. You Can’t Find Something? Mom!


Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.


Can’t talk, telepathy only!


Read books instead of reading my status!


SI unit of ignorance = “seen”


My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.


In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.


When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!

I hate men but I’m not lesbian.


Don’t get a man(\woman) ,get a dog …they are loyal and they die sooner.


Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.


Everybody is so happy….I hate that.


I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day


Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???


Who care’s ?????………..I’m awsome


I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.


Hey,you are reading my status again??


When I Show you a picture on my phone..don’t swipe left.don’t swipe right.Just look.


When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted.


I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.


If I’ve learnt anything from mayans then it’s that ..Not finishing a project is not the end of world.


A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.


we men want the same thing from women that we want from underwear.Some support and some freedom.


sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason.


a lie is just a great story ruined by truth.


The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.


we live in the era of smart people and stupid people.


life is short…smile while you still have teeth.


Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.


light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak. more Cool whatsapp status.


Hmmmm…..Don’t copy my status.


People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.


80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.


If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.


I love my job only when I’m on vacation.


The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.cheeky-smiling-smiley-emoticonFunny Status For Whatsaap 

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