Funny Jokes SMS For Whatsaap

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Funny Jokes in English

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Most and least romantic rhymes

A Poetry Competition asked For A 2-Line
Rhyme With d Most Romantic 1st Line &
the Least Romantic 2nd Line

There’s d Winning Rhymes

My darling, My Love,My Beautiful Wife
Marrying U Ruined,My Whole Life

I c Ur Face When I m Dreaming
That’s Why I Always Wake Up Screaming

Kind Intelligent, Loving & Hot
This Describes Everything You r Not

I Love Ur Smile, Ur Face & Ur Eyes
Damn, I’m V Good At Telling Lies

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Difference b/w secretary & private secretary

Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?

Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

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If ur world is spinning around

If ur world is spinning around
and
ur heart is beating fast..
Do u think its love?
?
?
?
Na Munna Na
it’s called High Blood Pressure:p.

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A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!

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NATURAL DISASTERS 

Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

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Bachelor or Married again

Sardars Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Dont Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married Again.

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A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

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Before & after marriage

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

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Impact of Movies

Impact of Movies:

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?

Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!

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Excitement in Examz!!!…

Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20…

Same rules should be applied in Examz!

(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.

(2) Power Play – No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.

(3) Cheer Leaders – To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.

(4) Strategic Time-Out – Time For Students For Discussion.

(5) Super Over – Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question. 🙂

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Practical exam, and legs test

In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.

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Santa in court

SANTA went to court

JUDGE:
“Order ! Order !”

SANTA:
“1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !”

JUDGE:
“Shut Up !”

SANTA:”No,No..7-Up!

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Question by a student !!

Question by a student !!
If a single teacher can’t
teach us all the subjects,
Then…
How could you expect a single student
to learn all subjects ?cheeky-smiling-smiley-emoticon

Funny interview questions 

Interviewer: There are 500 bricks on a plane.
You drop one outside. How many are left?
Applicant: That’s easy, 499

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It’s lion’s birthday,
all the animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it
because the crocodiles are at the lion’s birthday.

Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died, Why?

Applicant: Err….I guess she drowned?
Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick. You may leave now.

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Difference between Husband & gadha

Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!

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Only true friends stand by u

Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.��

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Girls of 1995 & 2007

GIRLZ OF 1995*
“AGAR TUM MIL JAO ZAMANA CHOIR DENGE HUM”

GIRLZ OF 2007*
AGAR TUM MIL JAO PURANA CHOR DENGE HUM

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A beautiful girl goes to Professor

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Studyhypnotized-smiley

It’s too tight

Girl:Its 2 tight
Boy:Dont worry,Ill do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I cant,
Gal:Its painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
Well buy new WEDDING RING!

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Recently fired stock trader

A recently fired
stock trader said …

“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”

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Headlights and wipers

After an accident,
A v.angry driver: I showed u d headlights
& told u 2 go by side.

Santa: I also started d wipers
& said No, no..No no. 😀

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‘The POLITE Way to PEE!

”The POLITE Way to PEE!”

Teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students this question:
Michael if u were on a date having di�ner with a nice young lady, how wud u tell her that u hav to go to the bathroom?
Michael, “Just a min i hav to go pee”.
Teacher: That would be rude & impolite. How about u SAM. Sam said “i realy need 2 go 2 toilet, i m sory”. Teacher, “thats beter but stil not nice to say word toilet. Oh u little Jonny can u use ur brain?
JONNY said,
“Darling,may i plz b excused for a moment?I’ve 2 shake hands with a very dear frnd of mine, whom i hope 2 introduce 2 u after diner” :-p

What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?

What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

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Ghori kinnay charhaya

Who let you get on the horse
You witch’s child?
.
.
.
.
Can’t understand?
.
.
.
.
.
Tenu ghori kinnay charhaya bhootni k…:p:d

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Position of husband 

Position of husband is like a split A.C.
No matter how loud he is outside,
but inside the house,
he is designed to remain
silent, cool & controlled by remote.

PoutySmilie

Tomorrow is my exam

Tomorrow is my exam
But I don’t care
Because a single sheet of paper
can’t decide my future.

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What’s d height of hope??

Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”

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Wife:What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

1937 (1)

Smile meanings

Smile to old means Respect

Smile to child mean Innocence

Smile to friend means Care

Smile in front of mobile, a mental case!

Still smiling? 😉
Pagal ey oy

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Diff B/W Ignorance & selfcontrol?

Diff B/W Ignorance & selfcontrol?

When u c mirror & u don’t laugh at yourself,
that is ignorance!

&
When i look at u & i don’t laugh,
thats called self control:-)impatient-smiley-emoticon_zpsyqhenwqx

I Made No Resolutions For The New Year

I Made No Resolutions For The New Year.
The Habit of Making Plans,
Criticizing, Sanctioning
And Molding My Life
Is Too Much of
A Daily Event For Me

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Y elephants r large, gray & wrinkly?

Why Are Elephants
Large, Gray And
Wrinkly… ?
.
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
If They Were
Small Round & White
They Would Be
”Aspirins” ;->

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Never KISS a lady police

Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.

Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please

Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time

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Wake up with a smile

It’s Perfectly Legal To
Kill Someone In Your
Dreams,
That’s Why
I Wake Up With A Smile Everyday

Good Morning 🙂

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I just feel u….

I just feel u….

Whenever I feel u….
I just miss u …..
Whenever i miss u ….
I just wanna See u ….
Do u know why…….

It’s juts because …………

******I LOVE CARTOONS*******

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Man needs a poison

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

PoutySmilie

Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do

Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do,
ik benam si mohabbat mere nam ker do,

ik subha ko milo aur shaam ker do,
Aur sham tak mere ghar ka sara kaam ker do:p

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Wife came home with a goat.

Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”

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Silent message for all students

A ThermoMeter is n0t the 0nly thing
that gets a “DEGREE” without having a “BRAIN”…! :p

A silent msg f0r all studnts;-)

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Backup before ….

One Of The Best Quote,

Always have a

BACKUP

BEFORE

BREAKUP! :p

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Catch her by her waist…Put ur lips on her lips…

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

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2 men went 2 a callgirl

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”

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Attitude of girls

Attitude of girls:

When a boy sends dirty sms
she laughs for 10 minutes,
forward dat to her friends n
then replies the boy.
“i dont like that kind of sms ok?” :p ;->

smileys-cz-203

Himesh to magnify picture

What will Himesh say to magnify a picture..?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Zara Zoom Zoom… ;->

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Stop looking at girls

Aftr engagemnt!
Girl:
Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!

Boy:
Oho what do u mean,
if i m on diet,
that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . . 😀

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Love has no age….

Someone Asked Shakespeare:
“U Married A Girl Elder Than U, Why?”

He Showed Him A Calendar N Said
“A Week Has 7 Days;
Can U Say Which Day Is Younger,
Either Sunday Or Saturday ??

So, Love Comes From Heart Not In Age”
Love Has No Age.

-MORAL:
Senior Girls R Also Available For Boys:P

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Feel d difference of boy / girl

If a boy gives a love letter 2 a gal, people call him “Loffer”
But if a gal gives a letter 2 a boy, they call it “Offer”.
Feel the difference;)

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Why student fails ?

WHY STUDENT FAIL
Sundays-52 in a year,Days left 313
Summer holidays 50,Days left 263
8 hrs daily sleep-130 days GONe, Days left 141
1 hr daily playing means 15 days,Days left 126
2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.Days left 96,
1 hr talking means 15 days.,Days left 81
Exams days 35 days,Days left 46
Eid & Gov holidays 20, Days left 26
Movies,TV at least 25 days,Days left 1
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.
Hun banda SALGIRHA waly din bhi parhy?bart-mooneyFunny Jokes SMS For Whatsaap

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