Short Funny Quotes

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“I’m not lazy I’m just on my energy saving mode.”

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“3am phone call… hey are you asleep?? No I’m skydiving.”

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“During the day,I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a little more open-minded.”

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“With great power comes great electricity bill.”

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“Thanks Wind, you totally raped my hair.”

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“At night, I can’t sleep. In the morning, I can’t wake up.

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Short Funny Quotes

“Its funny how when I m loud, people tell me to be quiet, but when I m quiet, people ask me whats wrong with me.”

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“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”

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“Home where I can look ugly and enjoy it.”

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“Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.”

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“I will slap you so hard even google wont be able to find you.”

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Short Funny Quotes

“I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.”

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“Don’t judge me. I was born to be awsome not perfect.”

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“I’m not short, I’m just more down to earth than other people.”

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“I just found out there is nothing wrong with ME, it is the WORLD that has issues.”

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“Old people at weddings always poke me and say “You’re Next.” So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”

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Short Funny Quotes

“I never understand that why the hell do people use hash-tags on FB?”

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“The best thing about me… M a limited edition. There are no other copies.”

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“I hate it when you have to BE NICE to someone you really want to throw a brick at.”

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“I would lose weight but I hate losing…”

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“I fart because it is the only gas I can afford!!”

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“Of course I talk to myself… Sometimes I need expert advice.”

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“I don’t have to worry about getting kidnapped, they would bring me back in less than an hour :-p :-p”

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“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5 or 6 times, Just to be sure.”

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