valentines day quotes funny
Love is a game that two can play and both win.
Love is a grave mental disease.
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.
Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. – By Tracy Smith
I’m tired of love; I’m still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.
Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion. – By Mirabeau
Love is not blind; it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart.
Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely.
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them,
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.
No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
The bravest thing that men do is love women.
The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods.
The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
There’s a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a billion dollars.
Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty- By nine cents! Eighty- By nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself.
A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.
